Rapid Onset Non-Fatal Cryptogenic-Chromesthesia
I often tell counseling clients “The only time to worry is when I look worried and, since I’m not worried, you don’t need to worry.”
So, even though my doctors can’t explain it and are incredibly confused, don’t worry, ‘Cause I’m not.
Frankly, my medics are mind-boggled.
By the rapid onset. (I can pretty much pinpoint the first time it happened. More on that in a moment.)
By the singularity of the symptom (can’t say “symptoms” ‘cause there’s only one).
By the fact that there’s nothing like what I’m experiencing in all the medical literature.
My docs say it’s neurological; I’m not sure.
For now, they’re calling it “rapid onset non-fatal cryptogenic-chromesthesia.”
The onset wasn’t quite thunderbolt-like.
It took a few days before I even realized it was happening. Now it’s become pretty much constant - for almost two years.
Preparing for the Easter Triduum (Holy or Maudy Thursday, Good Friday and Holy Saturday/Easter) 2024, I was struck by the words
"I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:15)
And then suddenly-but-not-really-suddenly and depending on the relationship and the degree of intimacy, I started seeing the word “friend” or “FRIEND” when answering calls.
It’s almost always red, occasionally blue.
It doesn’t happen with words and relationships like “drinking buddy,” “workout partner,” “somebody I just met,” or “counseling client.”
Amazing!
But not really.
In the three Synoptic Gospels - Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34 and Luke 9:23 – Jesus summarizes the role of His disciples from the moment of their calling until their deaths:
“Whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”
Matthew 10:38
Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
Matthew 16:24
Calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
Mark 8:34
He said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”
Luke 9:23
“Whoever does not bear his cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”
Luke 14:27
Jesus’ choice of words – “disciples,” “follow” and “cross” – was not casual. In the Jewish world of twenty-two-hundred years ago, to be the “disciple” of a religious teacher/rabbi meant literally attempting to step into the master’s footprints, imitating his every action.
From the beginning of his public ministry – the Marriage Feast at Cana (John 2:1-11) – to the very last seconds of his life – entrusting his mother to the care of the young man John and John to the care of his mother (John 19:26-27) and his kind assurances to the “Good Thief” (Luke 23:43) – Jesus practiced kindness, empathy and performed the personal miracle of allowing others to know that they are seen. More importantly, he teaches those who struggle to follow in his footsteps to see, to hear, to empathize with and whenever/ wherever possible to serve: “Whenever you do this – feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, welcome the stranger, clothe and house the naked and homeless, visit the sick and imprisoned – you do it for me.” (Matthew 25)
“Follow me,” “come after me.” Step into my footprints. See those whom I see and the world has ignored. Step into my footprints and hear those whom the world has told to be silent and yet I hear. And do for them as I have done.
“Take up your cross.”
Oooohhhh!!!!
What?!?!?!?!
Religious iconography leaves twenty-second century “Christians” tending to personalize or particularize “the Cross” and “crucifixion” to Jesus.
That’s a huge and pietistic mistake.
Considered one of the most brutal and shameful methods of execution, crucifixion probably originated with the Babylonian Empire (c. 1894 – 539 BCE) and the Assyrians (c. 2500 – 650 BCE); it was systematized by 6th century BC Persians and introduced to the eastern Mediterranean by Alexander the Great in the 4th century BCE. But it was the Romans who perfected it. (Constantine the Great abolished crucifixion in the early fourth century; it was replaced by hanging and other forms of execution.)
It was brutal and not always quick; while some victims survived as long as four days, most succumbed within six hours.
The “causes” of death – plural – included the after-effects of compulsory scourging and maiming, dehydration, and progressive asphyxia caused by impairment of respiratory movement. Hypovolemic shock caused by blood loss and progressive asphyxia caused by impaired respiratory movement precipitated cardiac arrest. Because Roman guards could not leave the site until their prisoner had died, they hastened death by fracturing the tibia and/or fibula, sharp blows to the front of the chest, building fires at the foot of the cross and using the smoke to asphyxiate the victim, or using a spear to stab wounds into the heart.
In 73 BCE, on orders from Emperor Valerian, Spartacus and an estimated 6,000 rebellious slaves were crucified along the Appian Way; their bodies were left hanging until they either decomposed or were consumed by wild beasts.
Crucifixion was so horrific that, in the 1st century BCE, the Roman philosopher Cicero (106 – 43 BCE) wrote, “Let the very word ‘cross’ be far removed from not only the bodies of Roman citizens, but even from their thoughts, their eyes, and their ears.”
“Whoever does not take his cross and follow me is
is not worthy of me.”
Matthew 10:38
“If anyone would come after me, let him
deny himself and take up his cross
and follow me.”
Matthew 16:24
And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me,
let him deny himself and take up his cross daily
and follow me.”
Luke 9:23
“Whoever does not bear his own cross
and come after me cannot be my disciple.”
Luke 14:27
Under the Romans, crucifixion began with stripping the condemned man of his clothes and scourging him with a whip made of two or three straps – with lead or sharp tips designed to inflict pain; two torturers administered the whipping, designed to hit non-fatal places – thighs, calves, and the back. On the march to the place of execution, the condemned – often naked or with a simple loincloth to enhance the victim’ s shame – wore a tablet around his neck bearing his name and charges.
In Rome (and probably in Roman-occupied Jerusalem), the convict carried the patibulum – the horizontal beam weighing almost 100 pounds – to the place of execution, where vertical beams were already in place. Despite Christian iconography, Jakub Jaminski (“What Was Crucifixion In Ancient Rome Like?” Imperium Romanum, February 8, 2021) notes a person condemned to crucifixion “never carried the entire cross,” because “the whole cross could weigh” almost 300 pounds and “it is practically impossible for a convict, weakened by the earlier beating, to be able to bear such a burden.”
After being administered bitter wine (often mixed with myrrh) as a form of “painkiller,” the victim was tied or nailed – through the wrists to keep boned and tendons holding the body weigh - to the crossbeam and soldiers – often as many as four – hoisted the crucified up the vertical pole, before nailing his feet to the stake.
“So, the soldiers, out of the wrath and hatred they bore the Jews,
nailed those they caught, one after another,
to the crosses, by way of jest,
when their multitude was so great, t
hat room was wanting for the crosses,
and crosses wanting for the bodies.”
Flavius Josephus,
The Jewish War
“Crucifixion was, first and foremost,
a weapon of psychological warfare
and tool of propaganda.
It was a means of enforcing the domination
of Rome’s ruling class and their ideology.
The crucifixion broadcast the impunity
of Rome’s ruling class and their ideology.”
(“Crucifixion in the Roman World: Ideology Behind the Brutal Practice,”
Marko Marina.
HI(S)TORY, May 9, 2024)
In the simplest terms: Crucifixion was a prolonged, almost ritualized (by its repeated step-by-step exercise) and horrific procedure designed to humiliate (stripping the prisoner naked and parading him through the streets) and inflict maximum pain – from scourging through the breaking of bones or piercing the crucified’s heart so that Roman executioners could call it a day and go back to their barracks (where they might have/probably did attempt to relieve their psychic pain by drinking themselves to sleep).
Jesus called his “disciples” to imitate him in every way.
“Go back to John and tell him what you have heard and seen
- the blind see, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cured,
the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life,
and the Good News is being preached to the poor.”
Matthew 11:4-5
On Maudy/Holy Thursday Christian communities will reenact the “washing of the feet.”
Jesus he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing,
and wrapped a towel around his waist.
After that, he poured water into a basin and
began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel
that was wrapped around him…
He came to Simon Peter, who said to him,
“Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”
Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing,
but later you will understand.”
“No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”
…When he had finished washing their feet,
he put on his clothes and returned to his place.
“Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them.
“You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so,
for that is what I am.
Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet,
you also should wash one another’s feet.
I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.
John 13:4-8,12-15
(In Palestine in the time of Jesus and before a meal, a host ordered servants wash the feet of his guests to clean them of the dust from the streets. It was a task reserved for servants and never performed by a host or person of social status.)
In the Gospel of John, it is only after telling his disciples to become servants in imitation of him that Jesus offers the Great Promise and the Great Commandment:
“These things I have told you,
So that my joy may be in you,
and that your joy may be complete.
This is my commandment,
that you love one another as I have loved you....”
John 15:11
My favorite idea from all of Sacred Scripture: Follow the example of the Teacher and His joy will be in you and your joy will be complete.
Pick up your personal cross, accept – if it comes – crucifixion and then, and only then, will you merit being addressed as his “Friend” and know His joy.
For a moment, consider what that means in 2026: To be a “Friend” of Jesus may mean living through your own particular crucifixion.
The friend-of-Jesus politician will pick-up the “cross” of losing the next election or suffering the anger and rebuffs of his party or its leader because he or she follows the example of the Teacher – standing up for human (rather than gun) rights, caring for the environment instead of the bull crap idea of oxymoronic “clean coal,” caring for documented and undocumented immigrants, encouraging the teaching of an honest American history instead of a “whiten sepulcher” history – “beautiful on the outside but full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.” (Matthew 23:27).
I’m not sure how long I will experience (certainly not suffer) “rapid onset non-fatal cryptogenic-chromesthesia.”
I am grateful for it because it calls me to prize my “Friends” even more.
Please God, when each of us arrives at the “moment after which there is no other,” a gentle God will experience rapid onset non-fatal cryptogenic-chromesthesia and greet us with the word “Friend.”